Our Faith Journey to Love

By Lydia Lin and Gregory Hillendahl

 

Lydia:

The joyful melody of a wedding procession, a church filled with beautifully dressed guests, its sanctuary adorned with colorful flowers on white columns and ivory candles on golden candlesticks. Standing in front of the platform, a tall, handsome bridegroom in a bright white tuxedo with four groomsmen at his side.

A radiant bride holding a bouquet of delicate orchids, arm in arm with her uncle as they slowly walk through brocade-laced arches, her face beaming with joy as she approaches her beloved groom. Ah, this wedding scene has played out in my heart countless times. Is it my wedding? Or am I still dreaming?

For a single girl long past suitable marriage age, I had been accustomed to attending other people's weddings, accepting that, in this life, I might not have the opportunity to ever get married myself. A car accident more than twenty years before still affected my life: blindness in my left eye, ten major surgeries, including four facial reconstructions, spine kyphosis and scoliosis, and the need to rest often. In this situation, marriage seemed hopeless. Yet there I was, able to walk down the aisle of my own wedding. How had I come all this way?  

Greg:

As I stand in this beautiful church filled with warmth, grace, and joyful music, my heart stirs with delight. My Taiwanese princess, my beautiful bride, smiles as she walks toward me. Yes, faithful Heavenly Father, thank you for your perfect timing in bringing my long-awaited, beloved one to me!

 

Part I Recalling the Paths we traveled

 

Lydia’s Story
Family History

About two hundred years ago, in the Qing Dynasty, my ancestors emigrated from Fujian Province, China, to Yilan, Taiwan, a beautiful city, well-suited for growing orchids. My grandfather was our fourth generation in Yilan. He engaged in a variety of businesses when he was young. He climbed over the mountains to Taipei City on business, braving winds strong enough to blow people into the valley below. Because of his hard work, he was able to build a big house for his family and was well-respected in the community.

My grandmother came from a land-owning rural family. Her skin was delicate, and she was courageous and generous. She never lacked for food and clothing. She had access to a tricycle cart for transportation. I remember her cat and flower gardens. My grandparents raised three sons and five daughters, so we had many relatives.

My father was born while Taiwan was under Japanese rule. The Japanese government implemented economic controls and food rationing, and often there wasn't enough to eat. While in primary school, my father frequently accompanied my grandmother to her rural relatives to get rice and meat. They went at night to avoid the Japanese soldiers. Later, my father graduated from Yilan's vocational school and worked for a water utility company as its treasurer. After a car accident in which he fractured his right wrist, he required hospitalization and needed to transfer responsibility for the company finances to another colleague on short notice. The accounting books and the money balanced perfectly because Father had never embezzled public funds. Father enjoyed playing Chinese Chess and won many awards.

My mother came from a kind and gentle family. Her parents had two daughters and five sons. Unfortunately, her father died in middle age, and her oldest brother had to go to work to support the family. My grandmother later went to each of her children's families to help take care of her grandchildren. As a child, I often went with Grandma on a bus to visit my great-grandma, who had wrapped feet and always wore traditional Chinese clothes. I enjoyed playing with cousins, netting small fish from the river, and catching frogs with my hands at the rice field’s edge. Ah, the fun of rural life!

Gentle and easy-going, Mother had many friends. She was a kindergarten teacher and also played the organ. After marrying, she stayed home to raise three daughters and a son and provided us with a warm, caring home life. For entertainment, my parents watched movies at the theater. But when I was nineteen years old, Mother died of nasopharyngeal carcinoma. It was then that my heart began longing for the true love of a soul mate!

 

Growing up in Taiwan

Although I had many relatives, as a child I was very shy, and when we had guests at home, I often hid in my room. My primary and high schools were all-girl, so I had little opportunity to learn how to relate to boys. Instead, I focused on my academic studies and was always number one in my class. In high school, at a gospel meeting, I heard a message on the Sermon on the Mount from the Bible. I was especially touched by the gentle, humble life of Jesus and accepted Him as my Savior and Lord! I was blessed to be the first Christian in our family. I began to participate in church fellowship, attend Bible studies, read the Bible, pray, and pursue spiritual growth.

 Beginning life in the US

When I studied at National Taiwan University, I liked some boys, but I never had a boyfriend. After graduation, I went to the United States to study accounting at Baylor University in Texas. Because of the enormous cultural shock, I turned to reading the Bible more intensely and had to rely heavily on my heavenly Father. During summer nights under the stars and on cold winter mornings, I walked with Jesus and experienced His grace and protection.

I graduated with a Master of Professional Accountancy and earned my Certified Public Accountant license by age twenty-five. In 1983 I moved to California and began working for Northrop Corporation as a senior financial analyst. Around the same time, I also obtained my certification as a Certified Management Accountant.

During this period, I had a few romantic interests, but these never developed into serious relationships. Enthusiastic friends tried to introduce young men to me, and I had some blind dates, but no suitable person appeared. In my search for a lasting relationship, I concentrated on praying and seeking God's will. As a result I learned to trust God more in this area.

Singing in the Night

I had a high-paying professional job, had bought a new car and was half owner of a house. In my spare time I learned to play piano and traveled frequently. But just when I thought my life was settling down, a bigger test was waiting for me. During a July 1986 trip in the State of Washington, while we were driving on Highway 101, a young girl rushed to turn left in front of us, and we sustained a head-on collision.

At the time of the accident, I was sitting in the back seat of the car with my seatbelt fastened, but the impact caused the seat back to collapse behind me. The steel sheet above the back seat cut my nose and left eye. I also suffered a spinal compression fracture. By God's grace, a person with medical experience was nearby and quickly came to my rescue. He first stabilized my body to prevent more serious injury to my spinal cord. He had previously worked in an emergency room and had just come to Washington the day before.  His proximity to the scene of the accident that Saturday afternoon was truly evidence of God's mercy to me!

  

I was immediately rushed by ambulance to the local hospital. The doctor first stitched back my nose, which was almost cut off. During abdominal surgery, they cleaned up 2500 cc (5 pints) of blood from internal bleeding, cut off my ruptured spleen, and repaired both my lacerated liver and contused kidney. Then a medical helicopter transferred me to Seattle’s Harborview Medical Center, where I was immediately taken to the operating room for temporary treatment of my ruptured left eye. For a day, I was on the brink of death!

What I had in the world was now irrelevant; the academic achievements I had worked so hard for in an instant became meaningless. I could rely only on God's mercy and protection at that critical moment in my life! My roommate in Los Angeles received the news and informed our church Sunday morning. Later the doctor said my vital signs gradually began to stabilize right at the time the church began earnestly praying!

Soon after that, my church in Los Angeles sent people to the hospital. On hearing the news, Seattle’s Chinese churches began frequent visits to the Intensive Care Unit. They came to pray, comfort and encourage me. As a result of my spinal compression fracture, I had constant, excruciating pain, but the visiting Christians were an enormous help and encouraged me to keep praying, too. Blessed by so many prayers, I felt I was in the arms of Jesus going through this dark valley with Him.

I had five operations during the three weeks I was in ICU. Because of my intense, endless pain, I have only some scattered fragments of memory from those weeks. One time I seemed to float in the air; I could see myself lying on the bed with my eyes closed! I knew that I had been in a serious car accident, and I thanked God for saving the sight in one eye and my ability to walk in the future! I remembered that I had arranged for some friends to contact different churches to pray for me. There was also a peaceful thought – without God's permission, not even a sparrow can fall to the ground (Matt. 10:29). Life is in the loving, sovereign hands of God, and He will not allow a trial to be more than I can bear (1 Cor. 10:13)!

I began my long road to recovery by remaining at Harborview Medical Center for two and a half months. At first, I could only sit in a wheelchair. After some time, I was able to start exercising to retrain my atrophied leg muscles. I recall once sitting in a wheelchair and singing praise songs to a nurse. The first time I was wheeled to the hospital courtyard and saw the blue sky, I became so excited that I could not help but sing– Because He lives, I can face tomorrow, Because He lives, all fear is gone, Because I know He holds the future, And life is worth the living, just because He lives!

During this time, my Los Angeles church sent a dozen people to the Seattle hospital to care for me. In addition, my brother and sisters came from Taiwan, and my youngest sister even left college for a year to take care of me. Many people in the Seattle churches, people I didn't know, visited me, and seeing this, the nurses called me the “Taiwanese princess”!

Afraid to Come Home

When I was about to return to Los Angeles from Seattle, I was afraid. How could I face people with my disfigured face? To my surprise, more than thirty people from the church came to welcome me when I arrived. No one could stop praising God for my life! I often said that I was a blessed woman; during difficult times, so many had surrounded me with love and encouragement that I was able to begin the unknown path that lay ahead of me!

Dark Night of the Soul

After two years of medical leave from Northrop, I could finally return to work, but this began another round of completely new and different challenges and struggles. Suddenly I had to work all day and couldn't get my needed rest. I often went home feeling tired and miserable. My back bent like that of the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Frail, imperfect, and without much hope for a happy marriage, I felt very depressed.

My heart also struggled, often long into the night. I was not at peace because I was trying to cope with harsh self-criticism. My five enemies were fatigue, depression, withdrawal, passivity, and a mistaken view of marriage. The errors of my growing up were still pressing upon me: perfectionism, achievement orientation, and unrealistic expectations.

The next winter was extremely cold, and my back muscles were still very weak. I needed to lie down and rest every two hours at work. During the two-week Christmas holiday, I went through my tenth operation and then had to return to work. Only one recurring word could describe my day – Exhausted! Exhausted! Exhausted!

In my relationships, I was still not mature in my ability to both give and receive love and acceptance. Moreover, I continued to seek affirmation and self-worth through achievement. After becoming a Christian, I knew God unconditionally loved me, and I had experienced His providence in my studies in Texas and His love after the car accident. Nevertheless, my desire for achievement and perfection was still deep-rooted. I wanted to change but felt unable to break free.

Hungry to find a solution, I finally found it in Dr. Maurice Wagner's The Sensation of Being Somebody. He stated that if a person has an adequate self-concept, she will face up to her shortcomings and will not think she is not good enough simply because she can’t reach a perfect standard. On the other hand, if a person’s self-concept is inadequate, she will often work very hard in an attempt to meet an unattainable perfect standard in order to affirm her self-worth.

Early I had learned that my foundation for self-worth was based on "conditional love." I always had a driving urge to work harder to excel beyond myself, so I constantly felt insecure. Now, with my weak physical strength, what I could do was very limited. I kept wanting to make progress but often felt frustrated because I could no longer find any evidence to prove my own worth.

Dr. Wagner pointed out that God’s "unconditional love" is the only adequate basis for a proper self-concept. God has shown His love and grace through the historical event of Jesus Christ's crucifixion and resurrection. Accepting this is the beginning of self-acceptance. “You are saved by grace, through faith, this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, so that no one may boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9).

Though I had known this passage, I had to accept it by faith. My value came from God's love alone, and for me to be reconciled to God, Jesus even had to lay down His life and die on the cross. As long as I accepted God's salvation, my life was valuable, and I no longer needed achievements to prove myself. Everything is by grace alone. It is freely given and cannot be earned. When I received this truth into my heart, its thirst was finally satisfied, and I was able to cease my futile striving.

I did some calculating once and found that in three years I had a total of ten major surgeries, including three spinal surgeries, an eye surgery, and a bone grafting from my skull to reconstruct my nose. In addition, I had about one hundred and fifty doctor visits, more than two hundred rehabilitation and acupuncture sessions, and stayed in five hospitals. Without God's love and provision, how could anyone endure such enormous suffering! 

God's Waiting Room

Though I had been waiting over twenty years for marriage, my attitude was still positive. God had saved me from the brink of death; therefore, He must have a good plan for my life (Jer. 29:11). I still had legs to walk, an eye to see, and the desire to cherish and live an abundant life. I exercised regularly, developed hobbies, and enrolled in counseling, writing, and Bible courses. I also read many books and magazines. I traveled to Europe, Asia, and Israel, and I wrote a book called Singing in the Night, with 16,000 copies published in Chinese and English.

While living a fulfilling life with a grateful heart, I was able to love, share, and support those who were still weak, lonely and struggling. I opened my home to international students, several of whom celebrated their twentieth birthdays in my home. Because I was surrounded by young people, my heart stayed young. We worked together to create a joyful family away from home. I became their big sister, learning to love and care for their needs. Later, many got married, and I joyfully attended their weddings. My many years of being single had taught me to let go of my narrow focus on getting married. Now I could reach out with a broader and deeper love, the result of emotional growth for me.

  

Eventually, most of my single friends found their mates and began raising families. But I was still single! I had some brief relationships, but I met only those who just wanted to be friends, or who, when I opened up about my accident, slowly pulled away. By about the age of fifty, any hope of getting married had all but slipped away. Then in 2006, while hiking in the mountains, I slipped and broke my left leg and had yet another surgery!

Greg’s Story

Family History

My ancestors can be traced back to three European countries. My mother's mother's family goes back to Ireland. My mother's father's family goes back to England. In July 1999, my mother asked me to take her to the State of Illinois to find her father's roots. She knew her grandparents had moved the family from Illinois to Los Angeles in 1892. We went to her grandfather’s hometown of Milledgeville, IL, to find our ancestors. We asked the municipal authorities for our family records and visited local cemeteries in search of tombstones to find names and dates of relatives.

On our return, my brother searched genealogy websites and posted a listing of Mother's grandfather’s hometown and grandparents' names in the hope that someone would respond with further information. A year later, a distant relative in Houston responded, saying that his cousin's mother was our great grandmother and that their genealogies could be traced back fifteen generations to William Brewster. In 1620 he was the spiritual leader among the Pilgrims sailing on the Mayflower to America to seek a place to practice their faith unhindered. After a lot more research, my brother was able to confirm each generation of our ancestry back to Wm. Brewster and finalize our application to the Mayflower Society, which only admitted the descendants of the original 120 people on the Mayflower.

My mother's parents lived in Los Angeles’s San Gabriel Valley, where their family owned a large orange ranch. My grandfather worked as the manager of a citrus company. He enjoyed outdoor sports like fishing and hunting. My grandmother (we called her "Nana") was a primary school teacher. They had three daughters. My mother's twin sister had a daughter who became blind at birth, and Nana helped care for her after my aunt died of cancer. I visited Nana in her retirement home when she was one hundred years old. Her mind was still very clear, and she amazed me by discussing some very interesting topics, including questions about the Bible.

My father's father's ancestors emigrated from Germany to Houston, Texas, about the year 1850. In 1912, my father's family moved to California. My father's mother’s ancestors also came from Germany.

My father’s parents lived in Palo Alto, California. Their house was quite large. Around it two long driveways in a wishbone shape led to the backyard garage. When my older sister and I were small, we enjoyed riding our bikes in their driveways. Also in the back were a second house, a pump house, the garage where my grandfather kept his old tools, a small duck pond, and a garden where they raised watermelons, cantaloupe, and vegetables. We have many fond memories of our visits with them.

My father, Wesley, was born in Palo Alto, and he earned a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering and an MBA from Stanford University. He first worked on a U.S. Navy admiral’s support staff. He later had a number of different jobs, including one as an economist in the banking industry. He was also quite talented with his hands; his abilities included sketching, painting, woodworking, and welding.

My mother, Deanne, was born and raised in Azusa, CA, in the Los Angeles area, and after graduating from college, she taught elementary school. During the war years, she moved to Northern California to work in an office for the war effort. There she met my dad. They were married in January 1945, and she stayed at home to raise us children. Mother was very good at cooking; we especially enjoyed her apple and meringue pies. She supported all of us in many ways and was always a very loving, giving person. 

Growing up in California

I was born in Palo Alto and lived in several cities on the San Francisco peninsula. Our family enjoyed taking weekend trips together. My dad and I would go trout fishing in streams and at trout farms. On Sundays our parents took us to church. Once I participated in a children's Christmas musical, and I still remember experiencing stage fright while singing in front of the congregation.

When I was nine, we moved to the town of Goleta, near Santa Barbara, where I had a number of first-time experiences: off-roading in a car with dad in the mountains; fishing at the beach; picking fresh tomatoes from the vine; and breaking my right arm as a result of falling into a ditch while bike riding. I also enjoyed family barbecues and playing softball with neighbor kids in the nearby fields.

  

Two years later, we moved to Palos Verdes Estates in the South Bay area of Los Angeles, near beautiful Bluff Cove. We loved to hike in the hills and walk to Malaga Cove plaza to get ice cream. We often walked our collie dog to Bluff Cove, where we would play in the tide pools.

I also had fun playing Little League Baseball. Many evenings, my dad and I enjoyed throwing a baseball to each other. Having met some people who sailed small boats, we also spent time sailing together and won some sailboat races.

Our first sailboat was an 8-foot Sabot, which I had fun sailing solo. We later bought an International-14 sailboat and then a Victory-21 sloop to sail and race near Long Beach. Our I-14 capsized twice, but fortunately no one was injured or drowned! Once I accidentally fell into the water while we were racing in Alamitos Bay. When I floated to the surface, the boat was sailing away. My father deliberately capsized the boat to stop it so that I could swim back to it. 

Major Disappointment

Unfortunately, when I was 15, my parents divorced, and my happy days with Dad came to an abrupt end.  After the divorce, Mother studied for the re-certification of her primary school teaching credential and taught until her retirement. She also moved us to Torrance. We began attending an evangelical church in Redondo Beach. One Sunday I heard someone say he had become "born again." This was the first time I had heard that term, and I didn't really know what it meant. I assumed he had come to believe in Jesus as I did. Later, however, I would learn that from my youth I had simply been attending church and had more of a passive belief in Jesus. Since I had never consciously received Christ as Savior, I was probably not a true, born again Christian.

God’s Mercies

My parents’ divorce had taken me completely by surprise and hit me very hard. When my father left, I had a deep sense of loss and insecurity. But God in His mercy brought Jerry Tracy into my life to help fill that loss. Jerry, a major in the U.S. Air Force, was very friendly to me and became almost like a father. He invited me to join him and his wife, Jeb, to race their Cal-24 sloop in some local sailing regattas. We won first place in our first race, the Christmas Regatta at Redondo Beach. We won some other regattas, too. Regrettably, Jerry and Jeb were soon transferred to the East Coast. However, I was able to continue racing with friends I met after they left. 

Pursuing College and a Career

Before high school graduation, I began considering potential colleges and careers. I thought that the field of oceanography might be a good career due to my interest in the ocean. I applied to the U. S. Coast Guard Academy and was provisionally accepted, but due to a slight color blindness, I could not pass the physical exam. Later, I chose to attend San Diego State University to study physics.

At SDSU my favorite subjects were physics and German, and I joined the sailing club, with facilities in beautiful Mission Bay. During the summer months I found various jobs. The first year I went to Hawaii to live with my dad and work at a Del Monte pineapple cannery. The second year I worked as a nickel plater at a semi-conductor manufacturer, and after my junior year, I worked in the shipping office of an anti-freeze manufacturer.

The Tracys were eventually transferred to Vandenberg Air Force Base near Lompoc, CA, and they brought their Cal-24, which they docked at the Santa Barbara marina. On summer weekends I often drove north to sail with them. We even sailed across the channel to Santa Cruz Island, about twenty-five miles off the coast. We anchored overnight and then sailed home the following day. I treasured these times with the Tracys and learned a lot from Jerry. 

 

A Difficult Stage of Life

While I was in college, the Vietnam War was still going on, and a number of young men my age were drafted into the army. Although college students had a 2-S draft deferment, that ended upon graduation. At this time the U.S. instituted a draft lottery based on a random drawing of birthdays. During the first year's lottery, my birthday was the seventh picked. To avoid being drafted into the regular army with the strong prospect of going to Vietnam, I joined the California Army National Guard a few months before graduation. It required four months of active duty training after graduation and a six-year commitment to serve one weekend every month plus two weeks’ training every summer.

My final semester of college was filled with the stress of completing several difficult courses as well as uncertainty about my future. On graduation day, another graduating physics student advised me to consider a career in the computer industry, which was still a quite new field. He told me that he planned to attend a computer programming school and then get a very lucrative job in Vietnam. I didn’t want to go to Vietnam, but later I would remember his advice.

In July, right after graduation, I reported to Ft. Knox, KY, for eight weeks of Army basic training followed by eight weeks of advanced individual training to learn to operate armored tanks. Training in the hot and humid Kentucky climate was harsh and demanding, but also interesting, especially because I met people from all over the country.

Shortly after returning home from Ft. Knox, I helped race a yacht from California to Mazatlán, Mexico. During this three-week trip, I was still pondering my future and frustrated about life in general.

The Blessed Gift of Desperation

Looking back, I see that in spite of my self-centeredness, God's merciful hand was guiding my life. I had done well academically in college but had found no real sense of fulfillment. Moreover, because there were no mobile phones or e-mail, it was difficult to stay in contact with family, and I rarely heard from Dad. The need to join the National Guard served only to increase my frustration, disappointment, and even desperation. Later I would look back and recognize God's sovereign hand working in all this.

During my entire four years in college, I had attended church only twice, but after my return from active training and the yacht race to Mexico, I started going to another evangelical church, one that my mother and my siblings now attended. Meanwhile, my dad had begun following an eastern religious philosophy and was encouraging his children to consider his path. I realized I had to make a choice. The books my father asked us to read were dark, cold, and empty. On the other hand, at the new church, I met some young people who, while having backgrounds similar to mine, nevertheless had a peace and joy that attracted me. They told me they had received Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord and were simply seeking to live in a conscious relationship with Him every day and to glorify God in all they did by the power of God’s Holy Spirit. I was attracted to the simplicity of their faith and their joy in Christ, and I sensed God's love drawing me (Jer. 31:3) to receive His Son Jesus as my Lord and Savior, which I did.

The Bible, God’s Word, says that when a person receives Jesus, he is born again (John 1:12-13; John 3). I believe I was born again at that time. I began to experience a peace and a sense of fulfillment that I had never had. I had a strong desire to read the Bible and found joy in it. I began memorizing and meditating on Bible verses in order to transform my character to be more Christ-like (Rom. 12:1-2). Romans 6:11 says that we should consider ourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. I had become a new creature in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17) and could now live a life that was pleasing to God by the power of the Holy Spirit. It really was life-transforming!

Meanwhile, I investigated the computer school recommended by my college friend and took an aptitude test. I enjoyed the logic questions and decided to attend the course. The 12-week course began early the following year, and I learned three computer languages. My VW car broke down during the course, but God provided a ride to school through another student who lived nearby.

After graduating from the computer school, I began searching for a job. God used this search to challenge and strengthen my faith. I was soon offered a position as a computer operator but turned it down because I was really looking for a computer programming job. Over the next three months, despite all my efforts, I received no further offers. In all this I was learning to trust and follow Christ.

Throughout the summer, I continued to race sailboats on Wednesday evenings. One evening, while we were cleaning the boat after a race, I mentioned to a new acquaintance that I was looking for a job in the computer field. He said his company, Computer Sciences Corporation, had an opening. I went for an interview two days later, received an offer. I started work the following Monday and worked my entire career for the company. God's provision and timing is perfect.

After my first year at CSC, I applied to UCLA for a master's degree in computer science as a part-time student. Unfortunately, after two years of study, I broke my foot playing basketball and had to drop out of school because I was unable to drive. By that time, however, I had taken some key courses in computer science theory that would serve me well for the rest of my career. 

Following Christ

At the urging of some friends, I began taking some formal Bible courses part time. The first was a course in New Testament Greek, which I found very enriching. A few years later I enrolled as a part time student at Talbot School of Theology (La Mirada, CA) in its Master of Divinity program, which took me nine years to finish. A few months after completing that degree, I enrolled in Talbot’s Master of Theology degree program, which took another five years to complete. I used my work vacation time to take classes and thoroughly enjoyed my interactions with my professors and classmates, whose godly lives still impact me.

 

After becoming a Christian, my favorite and most satisfying activities were participating in missions, reading and meditating on the Bible, and serving others in need. My church actively encouraged members to reach out to meet the needs of our communities and the world. I served as a church deacon for three years and was responsible for managing charitable funds to help people in the community.

I participated in service projects near our local church. We helped poor children with their school work and arranged fun activities, like attending baseball games. For many years I taught elementary school children hymns and Bible stories through Child Evangelism Fellowship. A dear American Indian woman named Nina (pronounced Nīna) and I hosted a "Good News Club" in my home for neighborhood children. Nina gave freely and generously of her time to prepare teaching materials and snacks for the club. Also, for almost thirty years, I led monthly church services in the county jails to share a message of faith and hope with the inmates.

I also went on church trips to visit orphanages in Mexico and the Navajo reservation. I traveled to Brazil to help build a kitchen for indigenous Indian tribes. I flew deep into the Brazilian jungle to the Mamainde Indian village in a single-engine prop plane with a missionary family to help them in their work. I had the opportunity to teach literacy classes to the Indians. Through the medical efforts of these missionaries, this indigenous tribe of only a few hundred people narrowly escaped being completely wiped out by disease. Later I visited missionaries in Peru who had worked for over thirty years to translate the Bible into another indigenous language. I also went to Moscow with a church team to help at a summer Bible conference for young Russians from around the country. It was all very rewarding.

 

Part II A Marriage Arranged in Heaven 
Lydia:

I had been waiting twenty years for my beloved to arrive, and who would have guessed that we would meet in a parking lot! In June 2007 I went to a singles event that happened to be held at the church Greg regularly attended. I encountered Greg in the parking lot and asked him where the meeting room was. He was seven and a half years older than I. Neither of us had ever been married, and we both thought we might remain single the rest of our lives. For more than twenty years we had lived in homes and attended churches that were less than ten miles apart, but we had never met. Now God arranged for us to meet!

Although Caucasian, Greg was really my dream Prince Charming – gentle and kind, humble and loving. We both loved life, enjoyed nature, and were active in our churches. We read many of the same books; he read the English version and I read the Chinese. This sparked stimulating discussions and helped us understand each other. While dating, we talked on the phone every night and finished with prayer together. In our daily emails we expressed our love for each other through Bible verses. Dating gave us opportunities to deepen our understanding and love for one another. In God's love, our hearts became knitted together (Col. 2:2). Even though we had grown up in different cultures, we became each other’s soul mate.

I had dreamed of a beautiful romance, and what Greg brought me was more than my dream. While hiking on a mountain trail, I experienced a sweet feeling when he held my hand the first time. We loved walking together at the beach, pausing to praise God for His glorious sunsets. We also enjoyed the excitement of river rafting, the quiet beauty of a pristine mountain lake, and the adventure of sailing on the ocean. I always felt I would never marry a Caucasian because Caucasians are very athletic and I am not that type. But the power of love was beyond my imagination.

Greg:

Over the years I had belonged to several church-based, single adult fellowships, through which I came to know some godly, single people. Of course, I hoped to find a wife and believed God would provide in His time and with His guidance. Gradually, God helped me realize that I would find greater joy if I sought to help others rather than seeking a mate. Once I befriended someone who had a mild case of autism. I took him on a number of outings and saw the happiness it brought him. God used this experience of serving people to help prepare me for my beloved, who would soon appear!

It was God's miraculous leading that prompted Lydia to ask me there in the church parking lot about the meeting room. That evening, I sensed she was a humble and godly person who had a genuine faith in the Lord Jesus. At a church dance two weeks later, we saw each other again. We talked all through the evening and found that we had many common interests. This was the beginning of our wonderful friendship and love!

Lydia:

After two months of dating, I faced a choice: should I tell Greg about my car accident more than 20 years before that had led to multiple injuries, ten surgeries, and blindness in my left eye? Could and would he accept it? Should I give him the English version of Singing in the Night to read? Would he be scared away?

I chose to face my fears and sincerely shared with him the deepest suffering and greatest miracle in my life. I was deeply moved by Greg’s complete acceptance! After reading the book, he wrote me an email: "I feel that in you God has a trophy of His love and grace. I know that God has brought into my life a very special lady, whom I want to be with and spend my life with."

I spent the 2007 Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays with Greg’s family. This was the first time he had taken a girlfriend home for the holidays, and his family was very welcoming to me.

Greg’s mother lived a very independent life until she was almost ninety years old. She was still driving the freeways when she was eighty-nine. Then she fell and required hip surgery. After that, she also developed a heart problem. Greg and I visited her every weekend. After a few months of recuperation, her physical condition finally stabilized.

It was then that Greg mustered the courage to propose to me. He came to my house on Easter morning with a bouquet of flowers. He took out a note and spoke these words to me: 

This is a very special Easter Sunday for me
because I get to spend it with the one I love.
I cherish celebrating the resurrection of Christ;
I want to celebrate it with you today and the rest of our lives.

You and I have been raised up with Christ;
I want to seek the things above with you the rest of our lives (Col. 3:1).
Jesus said, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink" (John 7:37).
 I want to drink from Jesus with you the rest of our lives.
Jesus said, "Abide in me" (John 15:4).
I want to abide in Christ with you the rest of our lives.
I want to know Christ with you the rest of our lives (Phil. 3:10).

Lydia, I cherish you and love you – wo ai ni ("I love you" in Chinese).
I can think of no better time than this moment on this Resurrection Sunday to ask you to marry me.
If the above is your desire, too, will you marry me? 

I had waited so long. Now my dream had finally come true. My heart was full of joy and praise to God for His faithfulness!
 

A Late but Sweet Marriage

Lydia:

On our wedding day, August 23, 2008, my uncle walked me down the aisle to the altar and handed me to the one whom God had prepared for me. My brother's family sang and played instruments to the song "The True Meaning of Love." Its lyrics are from the Bible. 

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13:4-7.)
 

Greg’s sisters, brother, and brother-in-law were all in the wedding party. Greg’s ninety-year-old mother and ninety-nine-year-old uncle, ninety-four-year-old aunt, and more than three hundred friends and family members gathered to witness the grace of God! Our officiating pastor used the phrase “Late but sweet marriage arranged in Heaven” to describe us because Greg and I had waited a long time for each other.

The theme of our wedding was, “God is faithful and He will fulfill His promises.” For so many years, despite our longings and disappointments, Greg and I sought to trust God and submit to His guidance. We had focused on living for Jesus (Phil. 1:21), "seeking first the kingdom of God" (Matt. 6:33), and "being transformed into the image of Christ" (Rom. 8:29). We read and meditated on the Bible and prayed to equip ourselves to serve Him. Love came at a beautiful time. This is the love that is more delightful than wine, that many waters cannot quench and rivers cannot sweep away (Song of Songs 8:7). What God has prepared for those who love Him is what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no person has conceived.

 

Praise God that when I was single, mature women in the church gave me some wise counsel that aided my emotional growth and my marriage:
1. In these days of great pressure, you need to learn to take care of yourself before you can take care of your future family. Care for the people around you and cultivate the ability to love.
2. Acquiring skills for daily life is also very important. If as a single you learn how to do housework and arrange a warm, comfortable home environment, you will be happier. If you have a good life as a single, you are more likely to have a good marriage.
3. A kind, loving woman is the most attractive. Learn to show empathy and develop communication skills. The most fundamental element for getting along as a couple is good communication. Treating each other with mercy and speaking more blessing than blaming can make a relationship sweet.
4. Enrich yourself and continue to grow. Greg and I found we had a lot in common because of our wide interests and our desire to learn new things. 

Sweetness after Marriage
Lydia:

Our life together has been really sweet. Wherever we go, Greg always holds my hand. As the Bible says, "I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me" (Song of Songs 7:10).

Each year on my birthday, Valentine's Day, and our wedding anniversary, in addition to a card and flowers, Greg carefully designs romantic activities to deposit large sums in our "love bank." On the first Valentine's Day after our marriage, we went to a restaurant on a hillside, and then participated in a marriage enrichment workshop to learn lessons of love. Later celebrations included concerts, short car trips, and cruise vacations.

In addition to romantic activities, we make deposits in our "love bank" each day. We eat breakfast together every day. When Greg was working, we prayed together for the blessings of God, and then I sent him off, waving goodbye as he drove away. In the evening, Greg called me before coming home; then I turned on the porch light and prepared dinner. When I heard the garage door open, I met him to welcome him home.

Every night we lie in bed hand in hand, talking about the people we met, the books we read, and our new discoveries. Greg likes to read devotional books and the Bible to me. Then we pray together before going to sleep. Every day Greg tells me, “My Taiwanese princess, my dear wife, I love you.” I treasure this very much.

While Greg was still working, he took over as supervisor at work, and his work load became quite heavy. Greg was very diligent and responsible, but the pressure was immense. As I listened to him describe his work situation, I encouraged him not to worry too much and to entrust everything to God. Psychologist Dr. Wei-Jen Huang said: "Attentive listening is love, there is healing in understanding." Sharing each other’s burdens is another way to make deposits to our "love bank."

Greg is very considerate. If he is sitting downstairs, when I come downstairs, he stops what he is doing, stands up and greets me. When we eat, whether at home or dining out, he pulls the chair out for me. When we go to a restaurant, if one side of the table has a glare from the sun, he sits on that side to make me more comfortable. On rainy days when we walk on the sidewalk, he walks on the side closest to the road to keep water from splashing on me. When we share one umbrella, he makes sure I am covered, even if he gets wet. We also go to the supermarket as well as department stores together. Many of my brightly-colored clothes were chosen by Greg.

Greg has a wide range of interests. I have followed him to the Rose Bowl to watch college football bowl games and to Dodger Stadium for baseball games. When he participated in cycling fundraising events, I went as the cheerleading team. In Hawaii we took a submarine ride down to 108 feet to watch tropical fish. We took cruises to Alaska to see the glaciers, grizzly bears, eagles, and spawning salmon. We enjoy visiting aquariums and museums in different cities. We have traveled to Canada, the United Kingdom, Germany, and Israel. Twice Greg accompanied me back to Taiwan to visit my family, and we've participated in many Chinese activities in Los Angeles.

  

Blessed Interracial Marriage
Lydia:

Marriage is not only between two persons but also a blending of two families. My family and relatives all live in Taiwan. Both times we went to Taiwan, my family and relatives showed us warm hospitality. They treated us to a variety of delicious foods and beautiful sights. Although Greg's knowledge of Chinese was limited, his sincerity always won friendship and acceptance from my family and relatives. My brother, sisters, niece and nephews were all very happy to visit with Greg and practice their English with him.

  

Greg’s family members all live in the United States, and we have many opportunities to see most of them. When Greg’s mother lived in a nursing home, we went to visit her each week. She was always very happy to see us. When Greg's brother and sisters came to visit her on holidays, we always had family gatherings in our home. Greg’s mother passed away at the age of ninety-six and went to be with the Lord Jesus in whom she believed. However, Greg’s family still gathers in our home for holiday celebrations.

       We praise God for His blessings. Our families all love one another, and although each family’s perspectives on life differ, we all support each other. Greg and I put a priority on our family relationships, and we seek to spend time with them as opportunities arise. This brings extra happiness to our marriage and enriches our lives! 

Cherishing Our Married Life

Greg:

Married life with Lydia brings me great joy and satisfaction. She is very loving and caring, as well as conscientious. After we had been married seven months, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Lydia was by my side faithfully throughout the treatment and provided the greatest support! I thank God that I recovered well from surgery and was soon able to return to work. We were even able to take a planned Alaskan cruise.

When my work pressure and responsibility became very heavy, Lydia listened to me patiently and provided helpful encouragement. We prayed together every day for God’s wisdom. Three years later, upon reaching retirement age and after 41 years at CSC, I decided to retire in January, 2014.

Years earlier, a former professor had asked me to consider a Ph.D. program with him. At the time, I was still working and could not practically consider his suggestion. Nevertheless, I took his suggestion to heart and began to ponder what topic I would like to study in depth. Shortly after my retirement, I decided to apply to the London School of Theology. The UK system was attractive for two reasons. Its doctoral programs consist of pure research programs ­– students immediately begin research; no course work or seminars are required. Moreover, LST is one of a growing number of UK schools that offer distant research programs, so students can study from home. I applied, was accepted, and began my studies in the autumn of 2014 with a focus on the Gospel of John. Lydia is dedicated to supporting my studies. 

Lydia:

Likewise, Greg encourages me to continue my blog, "Lydia’s Journey of Faith." Since 2010, I have posted nearly three hundred articles, including “Singing in the Night,” and personal essays on our married life and travel. Because of my car accident and our late but love-filled marriage, our life story has touched many people across the world. Sometimes people write to me about their personal difficulties, and I reply when possible.

Greg and I praise God that though our life journey has included some challenging events, He has given us precious promises and the faith to believe that the Lord Jesus is with us through everything and will provide for all our needs. After our marriage, we continue to serve at church and grow with a group of good friends who “spur one another toward love and good deeds” (Heb. 10:24). Many godly couples at church have set positive role models for us, which help us mature spiritually and emotionally. Thus, we know we can trust God and submit to the circumstances He has planned for us.

Even if an occasional conflict arises between us, we pray together quickly and communicate honestly to let the other understand our reasons for emotional hurts. In love and forgiveness, we accept each other and try to reach the goal of two people becoming one in marriage.

Our Praise Song of Life
Greg:

Lydia and I have different religious backgrounds. She grew up in a family with traditional Chinese beliefs while I was born to a rather nominal church-going family. Although my family went to church, before I was born again, my heart was full of disappointment and frustration, due mostly, I must confess, to my selfish sin nature. Yet because of God's mercy and grace, we both received Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord and have God's Holy Spirit living in our hearts. We began regular Bible devotions and daily prayer, for in Christ we had found the best foundation for life.

In our long period of singleness, we looked to God for His guidance, sought to know Him more fully, and found inner satisfaction through the Scriptures and through His living in us and we in Him (John 15). We learned to take care of ourselves, be responsible in our vocations, cultivate love, and help people in need. In God's perfect timing, we met, got to know each other, and began to enjoy and cherish each other. The love and marriage God blessed us with is so beautiful! How blessed are those who trust in the Lord! (Jer. 17:7).

Now we seek to make Christ the head of our marriage and follow biblical principles to overcome whatever differences we may have. Scripture says the husband and wife become one in marriage; they are not to be self-seeking but rather to care for, protect, and trust one another. As we do this, we receive mutual joy and satisfaction. Beyond sharing many common interests and caring for each other’s families, we seek to share God's love with those outside our family circle.

We love because God loves us first (1 John 4:19). The Bible says that God loved the world so much that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to live among us, die for humanity's sins, and yet be raised from the dead after three days so that all who believe in Him would not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16). When we receive Christ, we become children of God (John 1:12-13). As His children we are to grow and mature in Christlikeness within Christ's body, the church, and actively serve the needs of the community and the world so others can respond to God's love themselves. In loving God and loving people, our marriage finds rich fulfillment.

Although we do not know what tomorrow will bring, we believe that God is sovereign, loving, and faithful, and that He will complete the good work He has begun in us (Phil. 1:6). The word of God is the strength of our hearts and the source of our joy. We will praise the Lord at all times; His praise will always be on our lips. May the song of our lives cause many to exalt Christ!