I learn to listen to God for His voice of guidance to my incident with a friend when she said that my falling from the mountain hiking was a spiritual attack and I was very disturbed. I want to know why I shouted “I am hurting”.
After talking with my prayer partner, she suggested that I still had difficulty with authority figures when they criticize me. I kept this idea in my heart and practice silence and solitude when I am alone, which is not hard for me since I am alone by myself most of the time when at home. The difference now is that I try to listen to the voice within and not just wandering thoughts.
In the morning before I get out of bed is the best time for me to listen to God’s voice. I feel that God let this incident happen to let me know that after so many years finally I can express my feeling of hurting and set boundary for authority figure not to say something that would hurt me. And I also realize that the hurt still in my heart that need God’s heeling.
The third morning God reveals to me that this authority figure herself also has hurts from her family of origin that will be healed only through actions of grace and kindness from friends like me. The next day the inner voice reminds me to be humble in spirit and not take people’s kindness for granted.
As I had lunch with a group of people for birthday celebration, the Spirit revealed to me some facts I never thought of before. I realized that the popular person that I wish to be had her pain and sorrow behind the laughter. And the respected sister got her affection through years of labor of love. And another sister was as neglected as I was among a group, but she chose just the right person to have long conversation. So this experience heals me from feeling loneliness in a crowd. I thank God for His presence and wisdom when I try to connect with Him and live eternal kind of life by the power of the Spirit.
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